drats! turns out i need people.

i'm really friggin' tired of doing this alone.

i wrote this poem/run-on sentence a few months ago, but it seems particularly appropriate considering the last couple of days of my silly life.

for the friends who dole out a unique casserole of sympathy, dark chocolate malted milk balls, lengthy voice messages, bad popcorn and beer...even when i fail to indicate that i am friggin' starving. somehow they know it. apparently, my j-lo-esque posterior doesn't fool them; my spirit looks like karen carpenter, and they have come around to

fatten.

me.

up.

____


knowing i
need
You
is a comfort now.

before
i bristled with
fear
and something
like
pitiable weakness
when
You came near
with your
poultices
and
cough
drop concern
(as if i could
be distracted
by the shiny
wrappers!).

i
allowed for
nothing
but
my own
touch +
tug tug tug
on my
bootstraps.

this is MY pain, thank you very much.

but
now
i see
my
need-ness
is
not
weak.

we are not meant to do it alone.

You
know not
You
care not about
the tangle
of my
roots

You
strengthen
the stalk
so the world
can see
my
bloom.

because of
You

i can taste the sun.